Who Am I?

Wad are you supposed to do if you're friends with everyone but not good friends with anyone? or rather the ppl you see everyday and not those who are good friends but arent seen very often. how am i supposed to feel if my dream is to be a NBA player but i'm , "too short" , "too slow" , "chinese" or am told "Just Give It Up, You'll NEVER do it..." and on the other hand told to , " just do it!" and "impossible is nothing" ??? can ANYONE tell me what the HECK am i supposed to do? Who Am I? What Am I? Will It matter if i go away and never come back? cause it sure seems like that sometimes... the pain i feel...is it justifiable? or am i to blame? are academics the only thing in this life of mine? are they wad count when i stand before the Lord on high and await judgement?? Does the book of life say ," oh u failed physics and a maths...you can't get into heaven." ?? Does it??? SO WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THE FUSS ABOUT STUDIES AND ACADEMICS????? WHY DO I NEED A1s and A2s TO BE CONSIDERED COMPETENT? DO MY MORALS AND VALUES COUNT AT ALL??? FREAK THIS WORLD!!!

...And On Wings Of Crimson I Will Fly...

sick...again?!?!?!?

hey guys nothing to do so gonna blog... sick 2day...AGAIN... stomach flu AGAIN...sigh still i went to sch 2day and took my history test on jap aggression in china b4 i went to see J liew to get permission to go home and see a doctor, oh n u know, to go home im supposed to get a blue form but so many ppl are fallin sick in sch that they ran out! hahaz . so later went to see doc teoh and was biggest bugger there...haha everyone else there who was gonna see doc was like 5yrs or younger... (note to self : need a new doctor) so yea he gave me my meds and i went home... slpt from 11am to 5pm (yea i know im a PIG, but then i was tired and sick) abt to slp now so yea cya guys ard huh? oh yea btw we lost to SAS in rugby so i hope they WHOOP ACSI though thats gonna b a lil hard to do... so yea GO SAINTS!!!!

P-I-S-S-E-D

WHT CANT I NOT GO FOR THE DINNER??? WHY DO I HAVE TO GO??? WHY CANT I GO TO THE BBQ WITH MY FRENZ N PPL MY AGE???? WHY DO I HAVE TO GO TO A 40-SOMETHING YR OLD'S DINNER N SEE HIS 12 YR OLD SON WHO I DONT EVEN KNOW AND NOT BE ABLE TO GO FOR THE BBQ WHERE I HAVE PPL MY AGE AND FRENZ I WANNA HANG OUT WITH??? HUH???!!!!!!! WAD THE HELL IS WRONG???? IF U THINK IM JUST GONNA SIT THERE N SMILE N PRETEND I DONT WANNA BE SOMEWHERE ELSE GUESS WAD???? AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!! I'LL JUST LOOK LIKE THE PUNISHER LOOKING FOR SOME BLOOD... THATS ALL NOT MUCH EH? DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!! AND ITS THE NEW TERM TOO!!!! SOON IT'LL BE MIDYRS N I WONT HAVE A CHANCE IN HELL OF GOING FOR A BBQ LIKE THIS ONE...SO WHY...THE...HELL.......NOT?????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUGGER!!!!

BINTAN ROCKED!!!

Hey guys sorry no update for like forever but been busy with common tests n stuff so yea thought since now its the march hols id update. ok on saturday i went to clubmed bintan with my family and a few other families: keith,kim,ian and parents, brien,dyanna (aint that a cool name?) and brien's fren dawn(hope thats how its spelt not too sure myself), their parents , charlene & charmaine with their mom and finally my family. we had a blast. All we did was eat go to the beach play bball eat go beach play pool/snooker eat slp wake up eat go beach....(ok so we ate alot but i didnt put on any weight at all!!! =D ) ClubMed was such a beautiful place i wanna go baaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!! the food rocks the beach is spectacular and the sea is awesome!!! waater's so clear!!!! it was such a fun time =D sigh oh well back to reality....hw studyin tuition and boredom sigh... someone bring me back there!!!!!!!

Sianess

SOOOOOOOOO wanted to go to Trinity for their Valentine's Day service but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO mom has to play the guilt trip card and make it so that i wont go for it....DAMMIT.....damn pissed...havnt gone to a service at all this week.... realli was lookin forward to goin but nooooooo must stay home n STUDY…STUDY STUDY STUDY....it seems thats all i do but its not really productive...like right now im supposed to be studyin but i cant realli say im in a mood condusive to studyin so here i am typin this out. B4 mom called me n kinda RUINED the rest of my day...i was at sunday sch...not as a student but as a facilitator so its diff...then cuz it was Jessie's bdae ytd we went to suntec to go eat brunch...ate at Carl's Jr then mom called...sigh....walked to Ben n Jerry's after that ate some ice-cream then decided to leave. at that time saw Val's god-parents so went to say hi...didnt see her godma so val was tryna rush off w/o all of us talkin n decidin wad was gonna happen...then when they were walkin off val's godma came...she didnt even go n talk to her...val just rushed off...along with everyone else leaving me to say ello n goodbye n sry we cant stay too long to chat...blah blah... then had to run off after them...i mean their rehersal wasin 1 HOUR!!! it doesnt take THAT LONG to walk back to Church...cant even talk to her own godma a lil while...then just walk off w/o me...dammit sia...was so pissed that i just put on my headphones n walked on infront of them w/o sayin anythin n went home to "STUDY"....sia lah.... pissed.....shall not talk anymore...however i feel like typin a lil something :
i aint sick of this life...just wondering y's it gottta b filled with strife,
Sg's a nice n safe place to stay...but then y do i see so many ppl movin away?
Tests,CAs,Exam Results...Is that all there is to this life?
So many just end it with a knife...thrown away...this precious gift called "life"...
why do children and teens seek out Death...and the many ways to draw their last breath?
is it the stress placed upon them? the expectations once they're too old for a play pen?
To get into RI or RGS after the PSLE? 2Points for the O levels to go straight to college?
Be a Doctor,Lawyer,a job where they get recognised and you can brag?
Why not an artist? teacher or coach? something that will touch the lives of others?
how about an NBA/NFL star?what? you say that its too far?
How do you know its too far if you've never travelled that path?
If im not gonna b a scientist or a mathematician why learn science n math?
I want to play pro ball...you say i'll stumble and fall...
Dont that sound familiar to you? Like a baby takin its 1st steps towards you...
It will stumble and fall...and it may not get up but you urge them on...and they do it right
aint i right? arent we all walking because of the many times where we stumbled and fell but due to encouragement we overcame it and are walking tall...
Cant a kid dream of playing in the NBA? "you cant make it...you wont make it no matter how hard you try" you say
"no matter how hard i try?" if it doesnt try at all will the baby eagle ever fly?
now your pushing me to do well...i want to but cant seem to...
do well in sch...sigh thats all thats important?
how abt the little things that make life worthwhile?
have we really come to the point where numbers on a slip of paper make up our life?
i dont know...i hope not...cuz if it has...i see why many have skipped the drama called life and went straight to the ending....

what a nice day!!! =D

whoa its been a long time.... i can smell the staleness of this blog... sry dudes n dudettes for not updating this place regularly...sch's been goin on for abt a month already and im just able to cope. the whole month's been abt the same altho it still feels kinda weird to be called sec4.... IT'S "O" LEVELS THIS YEAR!!!! AAAAAARRRRRGH!!!!! hai...sry abt that.... o well abt today...its been a long time since i've talked with her, almost 7months, and the last time i saw her was exactly one year ago today, but i finally got to see n talk to her after all this time!! so happy... i've missed her so much... she's such a great fren of mine and not being able to talk to her has realli been weird and uncomfortable... so anyway... today is her bdae n i went to her house to give her, her present. she was kinda surprised to see me but none the less she looked pretty cheery as always even though she was sick and didnt go to school. God realli aligned it nicely for me today... i was gonna sit at a cafe near her house n "ambush" her on her way home but decided to go to her hse later, then normally she doesnt get home til 6.45 on thurs n i went there at abt 5.50pm but cuz she was sick she stayed at home. so Thanks Dad!!! for making such a nice coincidence.... well its been a great day i'll try n update more often ppl!! cya ard