What's It Mean To Be A Friend?

Okay, so like what does it mean to be a friend? Let's go by the dictionary meaning.
Dictionary.com says:
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter

3. a person who is on good terms with another

Hmmm... my own:
1. a person you actually CHAT and have CONVERSATIONS with.

2. a person you spend TIME with.

So... technically if your "friend" doesn't do any of these, can't exactly call 'em your friend can you?

You know, we don't need to do this, we can just stop the facade that we're still friends.
A "hello" here and there with a half smile are all we have now huh?
Just tell me. I can take it. Say it and let's move on. Without each other's friendship, not like we have one now but anyway.
I still want to be friends, I do. But if your idea of ME being YOUR friend is that you can tell everyone else stuff but not me well i don't need that. I don't even know what to talk to you about anymore. I don't know you. I used to. Not anymore.
Just go hang out in you're own group. I have a group of people who ACTUALLY give a DAMN about me. People who ask how I'm doing, talk with me about everything and anything, SPEND TIME WITH ME. But I guess if that's too hard for you, then don't even pretend to. I don't need someone who won't spend time with me and then say "I'm cool being your friend"
Friends spend time with each other don't they? Or are you just unable to get that into your head?
SIGH...
Ahhh forget it. Go spend time with your friends. Go hang out with them.
Go...just...just... go away.

I'm sorry this post is so emo too... I just need to get that off my chest. EAP EXAM TMR!!! Ahhhhh!!!! PSYCHOLOGY AND MATH ON MONDAY!!!!! LIT ON TUES!!!!! ECONS ON FRI!!!!! Damnit this week gonna pass fast.
But i want it over quickly...
Can't wait to get home.
Miss you guys back in Sunny(read : HOT) singapore!
SATAY AGAIN!!!! HAHAHAH this time going for 50+ sticks!!!

SIAN

Damn sian today man. Dunno why.

"The Happiness of Love is a Shooting Star, The Pain of Love is the Darkness that follows..." A quote from the collection of short stories {A Thousand Years Of Good Prayers} by Li YiYun.

Ain't that too true? How many times does Pain NOT follow after Love?
It's like a faulty package deal. Unless you find the right one, its just gonna end up with someone hurt..

Chains
Chains. Metal. Cold to Touch.
Cold like what I feel from you.

Chains. Strong. Hard to break.
Strong, like my desire to hold you once again.
Unbreakable, my resolve to be with you.

Chains. Restrictive. Holding me back.
The gap you've created between us,
why won't you let me come near?

Chains. Protective. Dare I say never again?
Wrapped my heart in Chains, keeping it from Pain.
You have the Key, will you come set me Free?

I don't know why i feel the way i feel. I know I still miss her. I miss holding her hand, hugging her tight, stroking her cheek with the back of my hand, running my fingers through her hair, kissing her goodnight... I know, but I don't know why I feel the way I feel. I can't describe how I feel...

Lord, please just take away the feelings I have. They're just too painful to bear... I need your love now Jesus, now more than ever...

I just wanna go home. I don't want to do my exams. I don't wanna study anymore, I just want to be at home. I miss my family, my friends, my dog...sigh...

St.Kilda's

Alright as promised, I'll talk abt that CRAZY trip.

Me YuHuai JunWei were the only guys.
The rest were girls : Deb,Shiyou,MingHuei,Sher,Melissa,Chariss,YiHui,Audrey Goh n Quek,Sarah,LiTing,Christine.

Yea so all of us split into 4 diff cabs and met up back at Donnovan's, which is a daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn nice restaurant.

Sat on the pier with the bloody cold wind freezing our butts off. It was probably 10degrees w/o the wind; 7 or 6 with the wind...

Me n Huai had a few beers each. hahah Corona n Asahi. CORONA ROCKS!!!

Haha y'all must be thinking "crazy buggers, chilled beer in less than 10degree weather." But who cares? it was fun!!!

The sunrise wasn't too bad. Even tho it wasn't spectacular, it was pretty fun! We goofed around a lil more then headed home as everyone like started to wake up.

Hit the sack at abt 9.30am and went for church that nite.

I'm lazing for pics so another time! hahah

DEATH TO HOI ESSAY QUESTION TWO

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHHA!!! Done with HOI!!! The only damn thing keepin me from posting the...last 2weeks? yea something like that. shit man lotsa stuff has happened.

1) On the 20th of May, me and 14 other CRAZY ppl went to St.kilda's at like 4am in the morning and sat on the pier to wait for the sunrise. FRICKING COLD!!! Haha will post pics later.

2) SLAP at Arrow on Swanston... that's gonna be a long post so after dinner!!! hahah brb peeps.

17YEARS OLD!!! (damn im old)

First birthday away from home...it was pretty GREAT!!! =))) Thanks guys!!!

At Urban Life wed nite? After everything JonoOng said he needed to talk to me in his room( i was like "uh oh..." hahah). Then the lights went off and everyone started singing! So coool!!! Hahaa thanks!!! That was really special...since i've never celebrated with my cell group back home.
The Palmerston Experience wasn't too bad either! hahah got home just about 12am on the 17th and everyone was in block6!!! I didn't think there'd be SOOO MANY PPL!!! hahaha like tito justin hon nigel kevin nicolas christine clara jean prim kristi kathi junwei lawrence reina minghuei melissa shiyou deb audrey sher liting gwen calvin. Yea...hope i didn't forget anyone... heh SORRY if i did!!! Thank you ALL for coming!!! It meant ALOT to me!!

So did the whole sing song n cut cake and just when i thought it was safe... Nic came up to me and was like *evil grin with cake in hand* "Hiiiii Jon..." CAKE MASCARA!!!! lol, he missed the first time but then i just let him hit me on the left cheek. hahahah it was good fun.

The party then adjourned to my balcony. Music n booze. Haha yea thats basically how it went til 3.30am where i was daaaaaaaaaaamn tired n stoned so luckily kevin ended the party.

My birthDAY itself was kinda slow cuz it rained and i just had HOI essay plan checking with Januz. Slpt the party off during the afternoon and went out for dinner. Dimattina's!!!! Went with Calvin JunWei Deb Shiyou Sher n Gwen. Dinner was AWESOME!!! I LOVE OYSTERS!!!! hahaha btwn calvin and me we had 36 oysters!!!(building up for the future xDDD) Yea so my first birthday away from home was pretty good. Missed my family but my family here made up for it =)

THANKS TO :
Nigel Clara n Christine FOR : 3 Cute lil bottles of hard liquer! DAMN CUTE!!!
Prim n Jean : Thanks for the HUGE Toblerone! Thanks to you i HAVE to go to the gym soon. hahah oh well
Kevin Hon Nic n Justin FOR : The daaaaamn nice Fossil Wallet n Belt. Shall change wallets soon! haha
Deb Shiyou Sher MingHuei Melissa Audrey Yihui Charis FOR : The Super smartlooking and comfortable SHIRT and the cool brown Havaianas(Spartan Sandles!!!).
SHIRIN : THANKS JIEJIE for the chocolates sweet and the birthday card!!! Love you so much!!! =DDD

You guys ROCK!!!

Resurrection...

Wow...9 months since my last post. It really has turned into a "Ghost Blog". Well enough of that. It's a new year. Time to resurrect this old thing.

QUICK UPDATE

I got 16pts for O's. Not too shabby eh? Considering i thought i was gonna like JUST PASS History 2158. The breakdown goes something like this :
English: A2 (DAMNIT WAS AIMING FOR A ONE!!!)
EMath: B3 (Okay La)
AMath: B4 (oso Okay La, expected worst)
SS/GeogElec: A1 (My only ONE {haha})
Physics: Ehhh... B4 (ithink can't rmb xP)
Chem: LOL my WORST C6
Chinese: C5 (BETTER THAN MY CHEM???)
History: B3

Yea so then I'm in Trinity College (Melbourne) now.
Didn't do well enough for SAJC...Sigh...
Well, I'll be a SAINT in Spirit.
Aaaaaaaaaaand well its been pretty good here. The Sch's aite, the teachers are aite. The Friends are GREAT. The Church is GREAT (PLANETSHAKES!!!!!). The food...eh the food where i stay is *ahem* "aite", but other than that its pretty good too. Weather's nice right now. Autum. shiok man. Taking Math Economics and Psychology, which is daaaaaamn cool. Lotsa diff countries represented here, mostly from Singapore,Malaysia,Indonesia,HongKong and China. Some are from Korea,The Middle East...yea dunno any others...hahah. The eve i'm turning 17...damn i'm sure the guys got some shit planned for me x) *RUNS AND HIDES* haha i'll do that later. Damn tired now so gonna stop typing. Might do more updates in later posts but well that's all you're gettin for now.

Peace hommies.

Who Am I?

Wad are you supposed to do if you're friends with everyone but not good friends with anyone? or rather the ppl you see everyday and not those who are good friends but arent seen very often. how am i supposed to feel if my dream is to be a NBA player but i'm , "too short" , "too slow" , "chinese" or am told "Just Give It Up, You'll NEVER do it..." and on the other hand told to , " just do it!" and "impossible is nothing" ??? can ANYONE tell me what the HECK am i supposed to do? Who Am I? What Am I? Will It matter if i go away and never come back? cause it sure seems like that sometimes... the pain i feel...is it justifiable? or am i to blame? are academics the only thing in this life of mine? are they wad count when i stand before the Lord on high and await judgement?? Does the book of life say ," oh u failed physics and a maths...you can't get into heaven." ?? Does it??? SO WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THE FUSS ABOUT STUDIES AND ACADEMICS????? WHY DO I NEED A1s and A2s TO BE CONSIDERED COMPETENT? DO MY MORALS AND VALUES COUNT AT ALL??? FREAK THIS WORLD!!!

...And On Wings Of Crimson I Will Fly...